Jakeneck

Monday, December 29, 2003

Your Body, Your Superfund Site

"A California environmental group ponies up to test for pollutants in humans. The results, regardless of organic food habits, sound like the problems of a toxics disposal site: pesticides, flame-retardants, lead and other toxins."

Sunday, December 28, 2003

finding weapons of mass distraction...

The day Saddam Hussein was caught, Bush quietly signed into law several provisions of Patriot Act II. (c/o Ross Mayfield)

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Nafta 10 Years Afta

The North American Free Trade Agreement took hold 10 years ago, after a bruising, arm-twisting debate. Today it is more than ever a politically charged symbol of the promises and perils of free trade.

The accord, known as Nafta, brought under one canopy three hugely different economies: the wealthy United States, middle-class Canada and striving Mexico. The disparities made Nafta the boldest gamble ever on the proposition that free trade could benefit all.

Leaders promised the accord would create millions of good jobs, curb illegal immigration and raise living standards "from the Yukon to the Yucatan." A decade later, the verdict, even among Nafta's strongest supporters, is that for those goals free trade by itself is not enough.
The NY Times thoroughly weighs the pros and cons of Nafta, 10 years into it.

Dean Plays the Jesus Card

"Presidential contender Howard B. Dean, who has said little about religion while campaigning except to emphasize the separation of church and state, described himself in an interview with the Globe as a committed believer in Jesus Christ and said he expects to increasingly include references to Jesus and God in his speeches as he stumps in the South."

Friday, December 26, 2003

activists' son dies in bhagdad combat

It's a simple idea born out of complicated emotions. The Colgans are longtime peace activists who have opposed the war in Iraq from the beginning. They marched in antiwar demonstrations before Ben was deployed to Baghdad. Joe and Patricia Colgan still believe the war to be "completely wrong" and "unjust."

"I know it seems like a contradiction. How can your son be a hero in an unjust war?" Joe says. "It's the contradiction of a parent. We had a son in the Army, and we supported him no matter what. He did what the commander in chief wanted. He died doing what he believed in; he died doing what he loved. That's a hero."

In the next breath, Joe Colgan, 62, holds his head in his hands.
curse you, irony.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Happy Xmas, Happy Hannakuh, peace to all.



Happy Xmas (War is Over)

So this is xmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is xmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry xmas
And a happy new year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is xmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy xmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight

A very merry xmas
And a happy new year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is xmas
And what have we done
Another year over
A new one just begun
And so happy xmas
We hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry xmas
And a happy new year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
War is over, if you want it
War is over now

Happy xmas
—John Lennon

Have a good day everyone. It's not about the consumerism, it's about peace and love, no matter the horrors and ill will towards all men women and children. At least spend this one day bringing joy to someone. Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

not easy being green

Ralph Nader, who never registered as a Green, has stated that if he runs in 2004 he will do so independently of the Green Party. Voting for Nader in 2000 was the first time I voted in a national election. That said, I see this as good for the party - the European Greens built up from local/regional bases and now sit on nearly every parliament. Running large presidential campaigns is not the way to build a third party, especially one that prides itself on being grass roots. Nader's running as Green would likely hurt the party because many Greens have already lined up behind Kucinich and Dean, and would thereby cause unecessary internal rifts w/in the party (between the 'Anybody but Bush' crowd and the Naderites). It would be a far more effective strategy for the Greens to prove their strength through building coalitions with other progressive causes (MoveOn, etc.) than to divide the progressive movement by running a large national campaign, which would be a waste of time and money that could much better (&more efficiently) be spent on local and regional positions that can actually be won.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Krugman on Class War


"According to estimates by the economists Thomas Piketty and Emmanuel Saez--confirmed by data from the Congressional Budget Office--between 1973 and 2000 the average real income of the bottom 90 percent of American taxpayers actually fell by 7 percent. Meanwhile, the income of the top 1 percent rose by 148 percent, the income of the top 0.1 percent rose by 343 percent and the income of the top 0.01 percent rose 599 percent. [...] The distribution of income in the United States has gone right back to Gilded Age levels of inequality."

Friday, December 19, 2003

Squirm Ya Fucker

Diane Sawyer nails Bush on Hussein's WMDs.

Jacko X

If you thought life couldn't get any stranger, Michael Jackson has joined the Nation of Islam.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Almost there...

Well, we've got web and e-mail back up (tho popmail isn't working yet—only imap & webmail for now). For some odd reason however, PHP is acting all buggy, so there are no comments, chat, nor shouts at the moment. I seem to be having a myriad of strange technical glitches actually, and being that Foozmeat lives in Seattle and works a 9-5 job, it's very difficult to get help beyond what tech support offers which, frankly, isn't a hell of a lot. So... slowly but surely kids, we'll get it all back together. To those that have been patient, thanks for your patience.

And for those who haven't, what do you want from me? A note to my clients who assuredly do not read Jakeneck: There is no possible way in this freaking world to prevent against zero day exploits. (A zero day exploit is a newly found hole which hackers exploit until it is discovered by the software manufacturer who then releases a patch for it.) There was no choice but to take the box down if you wanted your data to stay safe. If you had wanted to ditch me as your provider it would've taken two days to move your site to a new server—which was the same number of days it's taken to get this one back up elsewhere, where there's now more protection against future hacks and nightly backups. (Not to mention the fact that you would've lost all the e-mail you hadn't retrieved before the shutdown.) The fact that anyone could cop an attitude with me after the amount of money I shelled out of pocket to bring this sucker back online, as well as the number of hours I've put into it (I haven't slept more than 3 hours a night since all of this started) only serves to show what intolerable douchenecks they are. I deserve to be thanked—hell, maybe even applauded—not shit on for my service.

Now that that's off my chest, we return you to your regularly scheduled program. Sans comments.

[Update] Popmail is back up. PHP is functional... Comments are working again. Yay Foozmeat! Shouts and chat are back up! The Neck Lives!

I'd also like to add that nine days ago was Jakeneck's 1st birthday. Happy belated birthday necknose!

Monday, December 15, 2003

Happy Birfday Aphid


I'd just like to take this opportunity to wish a very slaphappenin' happy birfday to Grandpa Aphid, who reached the big two-seven today.

27's a good age to be. It's how old Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain were when they died. Let's hope you don't suddenly become famous this year! Mazal tov, honkus.

CI Host — Scum Of the Earth

Ok kids, so, you were all kind and gracious enough to help pay for our new server, and for that I am incredibly grateful towards all of you; really, really touched. But well, I kind of have some bad news. Now don't get angry at me, but well, I made a mistake in my first choice of hoster, and am now getting robbed for $200 of the money put towards our relocation. Before you read the following, I'd like you to note that I've found a new and infinitely better hoster, RackForce, and that the server will be online shortly, at which time I will begin to move our shit over. However, at this particular moment, I'd like to convey to you what transpired, as I stated it in my complaint to the Better Business Bureau, earlier today:
I recently purchased Dedicated Web Hosting through CI Host. The cost of the package was for roughly $150/mo with a $200 setup fee. After my account was configured and I logged into my server to install some necessary software, I discovered that the configuration of the server, as well as the "managed services" provided by the company would not be sufficient for my needs.

This feeling was exacerbated by the fact that upon every occasion on which I tried to reach their customer service staff by telephone, I was placed into a call queue that disconnected me after staying on hold for 5 minutes. This has happened well over 12 times thus far, 8 times today alone. When complaining about this fact to their receptionist she merely apologized and returned me to the call queue where I was disconnected once again.

Infuriated, I went to cancel my account, and in the process of filling out their online cancellation form, discovered language in an argeement I would be required to sign in order to cancel, which requires that I waive my entitlement to a refund of my setup fees. However, on the company's website, prior to signup, there was a bolded statement: "Risk free contracts! - 30 day money back guarantee on all servers." There is no asterisk, nor link, nor small print which notes that this is not an entirely true statement.

When, after several attempts, I was finally able to contact a service representative, I was informed that in signing my contract with the company, that I had consented to all company policies, even though the specific policys relating to the waiver of setup fees upon cancellation was not stipulated within the contract itself.

I believe this to be a completely misleading business practice and am incensed by such 'contractual trickery'. It is a completely dishonest way of making money and constitutes a breach of good faith.
How completely fucked up is that? They want $200 for switching on a computer only for me to find out it doesn't work! Well, I don' t intend to stand for it, and on my way into work tomorrow (as I took the day off to work on moving over to the new server today) I plan to file a form at my bank branch to stop payment on the transaction. Since I can not guarantee that I will be successful in doing so, however, I would like to ask those of you who give a fuck—and I hope that's everyone, from full-fledged neckers to our regular and irregular visitors, to e-mail both billing@cihost.com and sales@cihost.com and insist that they terminate my contract (name: Daniel Sieradski, account: #ci61883463, domain: youraunt.net) with a full refund, including setup and monthly fees. Let them know that you think it is an entirely reprehensible business action, and that you fully intend to make all of your associates who are currently hosted by their company, as well as those who you know are looking for hosting, aware of the underhanded manner in which their company conducts business. Please, help me get our money back.

Lighten Up, 'Neckers!


Yeah, yeah yeah. We all know that you Jakeneckers are up on your politics. It's all very impressive. To recap: they found Saddam. Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld are fascists. Advertising culture is evil. Animal rights are important...... blah blah blah. The truth is ya'll bore the hell out of me.

And that's why I have to ask you this one burning question today: What do y'all know about Valentine's Performing Pigs?

That's what I thought.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

4th Amendment, RIP: A Rant By Herr Mobiustrip

How do you like your 4th Amendment? Diced to shit, I hope, cuz it done been destroyed.

For a little insight, I recommend Nat Hentoff's Voice column from 12/03/01, as well as John Whitehead's commentary from 09/29/03. After you've finished reading, and you come to realize the framers of The Constitution drafted the 4th's provisions to guard us specifically against this type of infraction on our gubment's behalf, go buy a yahrzeit candle and light that shit, cuz "the protection against unjust search and seizure" has just gone the way of the dinosaur and apparently freedom's just another glitch in The Matrix.

Which part of "live free or die" is the one where the Bill of Rights is dismissed as the idealistic expressions of whimsical and unrealistic colonialists? Perhaps the one where the terrorists win? No? I suppose I would rather be at risk of suffering a terror attack than to have the government spy on me. God forbid I say such things, though. That would be American, and the Right... well... actually defending The Constitution is just more Communist-looney talk, as far as they're concerned. How dare I speak of The Constitution when I hate America so.

Just ask our new friend JJ. He's the troll that lives under the bridge. JJ probably doesn't know anything about fascism except that when liberals use the word to describe the current political climate in the US, they should be immediately dismissed as treasonous know-nothings who despise our great and noble nation. And that's fine. I don't much gather the Hitler youth brigade stopped to think about the frenzy they'd been whipped into, nor who was really benefiting from the sitaution, or how awfully the path they'd chosen violated the basic principles upon which their society was founded.

But alas, argumentum reducto ad Hitlerium. I done dug my own grave now. Once you draw any comparison between anything and Nazi Germany, your opinion ceases to matter, even if you're right. After all, unless you slaughter 10,000,000, there can be no comparisons, even if the government's actions up to that point are nearly identical in nature to those of der Fuhrer's. So what's the point?

You go right ahead and wave that flag JJ! Wipe your brow with it! Wipe your ass with it! Wrap yourself in it and beat your chest apeishly while you troll our comment boards, apparently having nothing better to do than to pick fights with strangers simply for having political views that differ from your own. Hey it's a free country! Or wait... It was a free country. But you're so busy denouncing the people who are defending our rights as traitors (because Fox News told you to) that you don't even notice the fact that your rights are being trampled like a Walmart customer hunting a $30 DVD player and that the notion of a free America has been reduced to an abstraction that has otherwise been substituted with a mouth-frothing tribalism that represents no values or ideals other than the triumph and victory of the meatheaded industrialists and corprowhores who have stolen our country out from under our feet.

Hope you like your new Medicare bill fucko. Maybe one day they'll have a $400 pill to protect you from all the shit they're pumping into the air and water (that is, if you live in a low income neighborhood). And when the Social Security system is bankrupted and all the jobs have moved to international free trade zones where workers get paid $7/week to work 18-hour days, and the sole function of government has become to defend rich corporate fatcats and their organic foodstuffs from the riotous mobs outside their planned community gates, I know Uncle Sam's going to be looking out for you, because of all the support you gave him in his time of need. And when the government invites more terror attacks upon our cities because they were more interested in putting people behind bars for selling bongs on the Internet than firing all the assholes at the CIA who have been conducting secret wars for 50 years, you'll know it was because we Communist fuckwads weakened the strength of this great nation by not pledging allegience to every Constitutional infraction advanced by the Bush administration.

And when some raghead gets a hold of one of the nuclear weapons Reagan sold the Iranians in the 1980s (you know, those same Iranians who raided and seized an American embassy only five or so years beforehand)—after we invade their country to give Halliburton or Betchtel another hefty contract they can overburden American taxpayers with, likely bombing all buildings housing government records in the process and thus making it much easier to smuggle such a weapon out of the country (cuz it'll no longer exist on paper)—and they sneak it into one of our practically unguarded ports (you know, because we need to spend money on invading Iran, as opposed to securing our own borders) and detonate it on the A train during rush hour... I know that you'll know that we're fighting a just war, for the right reasons, and that us Lefty shit-for-brains aren't really living on planet Earth. Because in the real world, the government has your best interests in mind, always. They're there to protect you, whether you know that's absolute horseshit or not, as our Founding Fathers seemed to believe in 1776 when they drafted several resolutions to limit the power of the government, to say, search our houses, or limit political speech. I mean, geez, it's not like the 2nd Amendment was to keep us armed so that we could defend ourselves from tyrannical government. Oh heaven's no! It's so we can go turkey shooting and protect our homes from burglars, right? It's not like 225 years or so ago we knew this type of government wasn't kosher and had the representatives of 13 colonies ratify a Constitution to protect us from befalling such a fate once again. Idealism! Feh.

And I guess, all this makes me feel really optimistic about the future—like, there's something to look forward to... a future for me to raise my kids in. A future where government equals tear gas and baton. Oh, and money. Valueless money. The great mythic America of Masonic architecture, and enlightened reason. Where opportunity knocks for all. Wait, wait—I'll give you a choice: You can have a baton, a briefcase, or a botulism! Croney, crook, or cripple. What'll it be? Yes, a brilliant future in the great meltingpot, where the streets are paved with gold.

Oh beautiful, for specious lies, for granite waves of graves... For fervent, hostile enemies, flying US-made planes. America, America, God has forsaken thee. And drown thy mood with pharmaceuticals, and obey your damned TV.

Yes! Yes! Privatize everything yet continue to tax me at a 33% rate so you can pour all my money into provoking people to kill me! Then send me to fight and die overseas! But please, please, lock me away if I get cancer and dare smoke a joint to stomach my dinner! That would be morally reprehensible. Please, let the cops beat innocent men senseless or even kill them w/o repercussion because they're black and black people are intimidating because we beat the shit out of them for 400 years and now they're free and angry and put your hands on the hood motherfu— Expel children from school for playing cowboys and Indians, folding their hand into a gun shape and saying "POW!" because lord knows that's a precursor to Columbine. Let people starve and die in the streets, with no food or medical attention, but subsidize a multibillion dollar corporation with tens of millions in tax dollars because they contributed to your campaign. Ban abortion, forcing women to mother and raise children on welfare, and then bitch about how single moms on welfare are bleeding the tax coffers dry. Withdraw government aid towards birth control. Let three companies control every newspaper and television station in America, so we can all get our stories straight more easily and won't be distracted by any of those so-called "facts," or that ever-troublesome "truth." Yes, it's a bright future ahead of us all. Single-file line, please. Have your National ID card out and ready. Open wide for your retinal scan, please.

But, whatever, it's cool. Welcome to the family, shit for brains. You can sit at the end of the table next to my retarded cousin Freddy. Maybe you can hand him a knife and ask him "who's special," and show us all how caring you really are. Enjoy the 'neck JJ. Cuz we're oh-so-intimidated by your petty obnoxion and "witty" reparté. Why, after reading your scathing criticisms, I just don't think I could ever espouse a political belief again. For shame! You've really shown me what a fool I've been.

You can take Bush's cock out of your nose now, by the way. I hope you like your family pre-packaged like a TV dinner. Fucking factory-farmed general purpose human fodder. MAY THE FREE RANGE REIGN FOREVER!

Friday, December 12, 2003

So Oklahoma Cares?

  

So the local Fox Affiliate, KOKH25 Is doing live, uncensored reports from Guantanamo Bay and Camp Delta over the next few days, including a live ammunition terrorist attack on Gitmo tomorrow, which will be taped. This is, to me, is odd, as this is something I am led to believe that is being produced by the local news crews, not through any national means. At some point and time, the report will be online, hopefully with video (don't hold your breath).
Although nice to know that the abuses of Gitmo are getting attention, at least the abuse of keeping them locked up for 2 years with out being charged with a crime or legal council. Isn't that a dictator tactic???

Diebold Shadiness Continues

Apparently Diebold doesn't want voters to get paper receipts of their votes:

"An e-mail found in a collection of files stolen from Diebold Elections Systems' internal database recommends charging Maryland 'out the yin-yang' if the state requires Diebold to add paper printouts to the $73 million voting system it purchased."

Halliburton Drinking Tax Dollars, Bush Grins & Nods

"A Pentagon audit has found Vice President Dick Cheney's former company may have overcharged the Army by $1.09 per gallon for nearly 57 million gallons of gasoline delivered to citizens in Iraq, senior defense officials say." More from The NY Times.

In related news, Bush defended his policy of awarding reconstruction contracts strictly to American and British companies, whereas even the most ardent neocon thinkers completely disagree with the approach.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

We Interrupt This Program To Bring You A Message From Our Sponsor

Hi kids. I regret to inform you that we've been hacked. Things have been getting progressively worse as of late, with our system coming under constant attack from all over the world—script kiddies with IRC bots, gamers looking to leech bandwidth, Africans looking for a safe harbor. But today was the final straw. Today our system security was completely and totally compromised. We need to get off this box immediately.

So, here's the deal: After talking to my hoster, it's been decided that its best that I get a new server through a company that has "managed services." This means, instead of me running around like a chicken without a head trying to keep hackers out (or rather, to keep Foozmeat from running around), the hosting company does it. That's all fine and dandy, so I went ahead and ordered a new box. The thing is: 1. It's going to cost me $50 more a month. 2. It cost me $350 to have set up. 3. I may be leaving my job in a month and the idea of having to pay $150 out of pocket each month when I'm freelancing and writing a book doesn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So, I'm here for a handout. I need your help. I need people who are willing to throw some cash my way; regular subscribers who can give me $5 or more per month, to keep Jakeneck alive, as well as our many sideprojects. Hell, send me paying hosting clients. Let me host your site. Whatever it is. I just need to get enough cash each month to have this thing pay for itself, and hopefully something to subsidize the cost of what I had to shell out this afternoon.


Your support is not just appreciated, it's direly need. Please, lend a hand.

[Update] Welp, the good news is, I was able to recover most of the lost material. Yay Google! Many props to Foozmeat and also to Gabe K & his boy Joel for helping out.

Friday, December 05, 2003

net.art

i just put together & presented a presentation on net.art, particularly the early stuff, for craig baldwin's history of reproducibility class here at sfai. as a practicing net.artist it was a cool opportunity for me to explore some of the roots of the practices of the medium in greater detail. especially interesting (to me anyway) is the stuff that came out of the mid-late 90s, before php and MySQL were widely available and before the explosion of bandwidth; artists had to be much more inventive & efficient with what they had to work with - namely the raw features of HTML: image maps, form elements, text as image. the medium has turned out to be far more ephemeral than anyone had thought. much of the work from this period is no longer available (&arguably, the most dominant aesthetic of net.art today is '404: not found').

anyway, here it is in wiki format. feel free to edit, add to, subtract from, or destroy it.

Shocked and Apalled

A seven year-old Louisiana boy was reprimanded by school authorities for explaining to his classmates that his mother is a lesbian. After explaining what "gay" meant to another student, he was chastized by his teacher in front of his classmates and given an early morning detention where he was made to repeatedly write "I will never use the word 'gay' in school again." The ACLU has full details.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Are Cops Constitutional?

"Police work is often lionized by jurists and scholars who claim to employ 'textualist' and 'originalist' methods of constitutional interpretation. Yet professional police were unknown to the United States in 1789, and first appeared in America almost a half-century after the Constitution's ratification. The Framers contemplated law enforcement as the duty of mostly private citizens, along with a few constables and sheriffs who could be called upon when necessary. This article marshals extensive historical and legal evidence to show that modern policing is in many ways inconsistent with the original intent of America's founding documents. The author argues that the growth of modern policing has substantially empowered the state in a way the Framers would regard as abhorrent to their foremost principles."

Shoutbox Hatefest

I can not believe for a fraction of a moment that any of you people who purport yourselves to be my friends would imagine for even a moment that I would be responsible for such activities as those that have recently transpired in the Shoutbox.

The individual responsible is yet unknown, however their IP address is 162.83.208.188* 67.81.46.116, which points to a Verizon DSL account an Optimum Online account in NYC in Tenafly, NJ.

Number 1, I use I live in NYC, not NJ, and I use Road Runner, not Cablevision. Number 2, I'm into bukkake, not coprophagia. Number 3, while I can not imagine who in NYC I could've possibly offended enough to provoke such behavior, I'm sure I've got plenty of idiot enemies in NJ, and I can think of a few off the top of my head. But I fear not, for I have filed a complaint with Verizon** Cablevision and am currently contemplating filing a libel suit.

My grave concern is that you people actually, even momentarily, have entertained the idea that I, a man of such prudish behavior and moral conviction as I am often chastized for being, would say or do such things. Perhaps it would be best if I offer you the code to Jakeneck, and allow you to host it elsewhere (with your own money, as opposed to mine) along with a mighty "go fuck yourselves." That you would presume that was me, instead of immediately recognizing that something was amiss and condemning the individual as a fraud, is deeply disturbing to me.

Fuck that guy. But fuck you too for thinking it was me.

*Sorry, that was SNAFU's address! "Poop on me," huh SNAF? I've redacted my report to Verizon.