omfg, what a loafhead

The Bush Administration says: Happy Labor Day!

underdog my ass—er don't, actually

"President Bush [is] appealing for donations by portraying [himself] as a fund-raising underdog who won't have enough cash to defend himself against Democratic attacks."

Michael Moore reports today, "Bush is on pace to raise almost $200 million in time for the Republican primaries where his only competition will be his own dismal record. In Minnesota this past Tuesday, Bush raised $1.4 million by giving a 24-minute speech. That's about $60,000 for each minute of 'work.'"

ROBERT ANTON WILSON FOR GOVERNOR

After refusing many pleas to run for governor,
I have reconsidered and now enter the race
as an unofficial write-in candidate. After
all, why shd I remain the ONLY nut in California
who ain't running?

antisemitism on the airwaves

"Every time Israel so much as burps, Pacifica covers it extensively. Yet, when information exists that may give context to Israel's actions, or could reflect negatively on the Palestinians, it's normally absent from Pacifica's airwaves."

the jewish week—in albeit an exceptionally knee-jerk article—discusses recurring anti-semitic trends within the pacfica network's radio programming.

also check out my post on shtv about anti-semitism and adbusters.

here...i got a tough one for ya: why is it, on the left, that when a palestinian kills a mother and her child on the way to synagogue it's "regretable" but "to be expected" as a result of occupation; but when an israeli kills a palestinian who is smuggling arms and making bombs in his basement, the israeli's a murderer and a war criminal? discuss...

and somehow this is legal...

"Halliburton, the company formerly headed by Vice President Cheney, has won contracts worth more than $1.7 billion under Operation Iraqi Freedom and stands to make hundreds of millions more dollars under a no-bid contract awarded by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, according to newly available documents."

right... squid pro ro.

close encounters of the left kind

It had been a hot summer of protest. The civil rights struggle was in full throttle. In August 1963, I was a full time civil rights worker in Baltimore Maryland. I was on the staff of the Northern Student Movement (NSM), the northern counterpart to the Student Non-violent Coordinating Committee. (SNCC) Our organization was working in community based projects in 8 Northern cities, offering tutoring for disadvantaged students in ghetto schools and mounting marches and actions. Earlier in the summer, I was caught up in what became violent protests at the Glen Echo Amusement Park in the Suburbs. Many of us were arrested and attacked by rednecks. My name was in the paper as one of those victims.

great piece by my mom's friend danny schecther in z-mag. (she's his editor.)

france shows true colors

france says hamas is no terror group, even though they launch rockets at israeli cities and claim responsibility for dozens of attacks on civillians.

well, earth to france: the palestinian national authority has condemned hamas as a terror group and is seizing their financial assets. hell, even yassir araft says they've got to go.

why would france take such a position? cuz it's their the most fookin' antisemitic bastids in europe.

shucks

remember when i got interviewed by msnbc about the rnc? they ran the story on the 18th. and they didn't quote me.

bush gets nailed by gao, pulls plug on clean air

would this be considered a case of cause and effect? hrm...

that's awful, eating run-over muppet!

if you were a fan of the state, mtv's classic sketch comedy show, you'll love stella, the new comedy troupe composed of the leftover members of the state that aren't, incidentally, on reno 911.

the group, which features michael showalter, michael ian black (aka michael ian schwartz "which i changed because i'm ashamed of being jewish"), and david wain, also recently appeared in the film wet hot american summer, which only two years after its initial release, enjoys a major cult status.

that being said, the film will be screening at midnight this friday and saturday at the amc on 42nd street, with appearances by the cast & crew, live performances by peter salett & mr. blue, and even a character-costume contest. get your tickets quick!

also be sure to check out their interview in the onion last month. it's a riot.

i want my mp3

p2p networking as a form of civil disobedience and why itunes sucks.

go to m.i.t. for free

yes well, i'm sure you all have heard about opencourseware, m.i.t.'s free distance learning program, by now. well, the latest semester is online, and there are now tons more classes available than there were last term.

here's my picks for jakeneckers like myself:

• magic, witchcraft & the spirit world
• introduction to photography
• psycholinguistics
• language processing
• sustainable energy
• war & american society
• fundamentals of public policy
• american national security policy
• global markets, national politics & the competitive advantge of firms
• patents, copyrights & the law of intellectual property

wow. that's one hell of a courseload. i wish i could take 'em all. great fodder for freethinking minds.

caught in new york, meet the animals of the village

the village voice chimes in on the blackout/deregulation issue and also has a write-up this week on rncnotwelcome.org. (c/o vocal stimpy)

whoa

arnie's pop was nazi ss! thank god bustamante's in the lead, in spite of his plans to eat the rich. NOICE!

etymology of jakeneck

i'm often asked what jakeneck means, and find myself having to retell the same story in different conversations on- and off-line time and time again. therefore i've decided to provide an accurate etymology of the phrase here so that i can refer to it henceforth and not need to type it out ever again. hope you enjoy...

jakeneck is a phrase that was coined by the very same man who divined "the 44" synchronicity (a parallel to wsb & raw's 23), as well as the often employed euphemisms "your aunt," "necknose," and "auntneck"—a man named eric halpin, from our home town of new milford, nj.

having a great affinity for hip hop music, eric enjoys a diverse array of rap, including many artists who are either sunni muslims, factologists, or members of the 5% nation of islam, aka the nation of gods & earths. one of the greatest cultural contributions of these black american muslims is their slang, which has strongly influenced the modern ebonic dialect (which i still personally refuse to negate the value of, despite various attempts by my colleagues to convince me otherwise) and which has frequently been co-opted by white america.

one key phrase that has made it into popular language—at least within the black community—is "jake." most often used to refer to police officers, the term can be found in quite a number of rap songs—particularly those of wu-tang clan and a tribe called quest.

aiyyo, we at the weedgate, waitin for jake
we want eight ravioli bags, two thirsty villians yelling bellyaches
—"one," ghostface killah

he lost like a hundred ounces, jake rushed his houses
had him on the porch, ass no trousers
—"cash still rules/scary hours," wu-tang

then skate to the next state
further upstate, i heard they got crazy weight
bagged up by the gates and crazy like disco breaks
yo look out for jakes
—"knuckleheadz," raekwon the chef

[siren] whoops, looka there, there's jake
—"jam lyrics," a tribe called quest

see, jake be gettin illy when the sun get dark
they be comin out the heads, but shit don't let me start
—"midnight," a tribe called quest

cuz i'll break your face, have your ass runnin'
mumblin to the jake, you goin' against me dawg you makin a mistake
—"patiently waiting," 50 cent

while the origins of the term "jake" itself are somewhat unknown, some prevalent theories exist. first, the obvious: jack nicholson's detective character in the film chinatown, jake gittes. also, there was the detective character on the television show "jake and the fat man," jake styles. more convincing (and disturbing), however, is the following theory:

in the old testament book of genesis, jacob conspires to steal the blessing of his father isaac from his brother esau, and in doing so, goes on to father the nation of israel. thus it would make sense that in 19th century french slang, the word "jake" means "one who conspires against you." that being said, it would also make sense that in the modern vernacular, it would carry the same meaning, particularly when referring to the police, as they are conspiring to break up any illegal activities being committed by the "gangsta-living" types oft depicted in rap music. but this definition isn't entirely innocent either. in the heart of brooklyn, jews have incurred the use of the word "jake" as a derogatory remark directed towards them by black muslims. why? because jews are the children of "the original conspirator," and in a world prone to oversimplification via conspiracy theory, they are a convenient target for a resentment now corroborated by "biblical evidence."

regardless, in his ignorance of this unfortunate fact, eric took the term jake to refer to police, and moreso, to any generally shady bastard. in that, people whom he did not trust came to be known as "jakes," "jakely," "jakish," and ultimately as "jakenecks."

here's where the "neck" comes in: another modern slang phrase often heard in the late 1990s, particularly in reference to the consumption of drugs and alcohol, is "take it to the neck." if, for example, i had a 40 oz. of old english, and i drank the whole bottle in a rather short duration of time, i "took that shit to the neck." if i smoked a blunt, all by myself, i again, "took it to the neck." perhaps the term refers to the motion of cocking one's head back to tilt a 40 oz. bottle, thus exposing the neck. either way, it is what it is.

thus, in conjunction with "jake," a "jakeneck" is a person who takes their "jakliness" "to the neck." in otherwords, they are a shady-ass bastard.

the domain jakeneck.com was originally purchased while i still lived in new milford, and launched as a weblog which was to focus particularly on exposing conspiracies and shady behavior on the part of political figures. and tho the project laid dormant for quite some time, the fact that it's predecessor, shtv, evolved into the current jakeneck you see before you, is no surprise to me, nor anyone else around since its inception—namely, myself, p boogie & jake lee o'shady, the original fo'fo clan. the site is simply living up to its potential—a manifest destiny if you will. anyway, you've got to start to wonder who the real jakes are here...is it the people we're writing about in our posts, or is it us, the posters? that is for you to determine...muahahahahaha!

anyhow, the private joke is now out of the box. use at your discretion.

bandwidth: from each according to their ability, to each according to their need

bit torrent is a multiplatform open source app used for the distribution of large files. it basically works like this.. instead of having a bunch of people line up to download an entire file from start to finish, users download random pieces. bit torrent enables people who are downloading the file to share the bits they've downloaded with eachother, so when a fair number have the whole file, swarms can emerge with 100s of people passing bits among themselves, meaning everyone gets it fast. anyone with a copy of the file can essentialy volunteer a share of their bandwidth to help distribute the file. this is an ideal way to for artists, videographers, filmmakers and musicians to share (and access) content which is untethered by copyright restrictions, such as stuff under a Creative Commons license, or work that has fallen into or donated into the public domain (such as the Prellinger Archives), or any of the other sundry copyleft licenses. but bits are bits, so of course it is also useful for trading the sewage the culture industry pumps out, whether for appropriation, reappropriation, or good old passive consumption. An inspiring example of this technology at work is V2V, an agitprop collective sharing, among other important works, a lot of footage from the rallies in geneva earlier this year. media wants to be free - now get to work.

Wesley Willis Dies

I just received this press release:

Dear Friends and fellow Wesleynauts,
We are deeply saddened to report that one of our artists, Wesley willis passed away yesterday, Thursday, August 21st. Wesley will be greatly missed by all that had the privilege to know him, as well as the fans who have been fortunate enough to experience his genius. Wesley was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML) at the end of 2002, and had to undergo emergency surgery on June 2nd to identify the source of, and to suppress internal bleeding. It is not clear if this bleeding was related to his leukemia or not, and the exact cause of death is still unknown. Wesley had been recovering at a Hospice in Illinois, and since the surgery his health had deteriorated rapidly. His songs were simultaneously disturbing, hilarious, blunt, and intoxicating. Wesley's sheer excitement and unaffected honesty about every cultural phenomenon, defined his music as truly individual, and truly punk rock. Wesley released well over 50 albums - 3 of which are on Alternative Tentacles, and a 4th, entitled, Wesley willis Greatest Hits Vol. 3 (CD) had already been scheduled for release in October of this year.

If you happen to be sleeping on the man, click here to school yourself.

mike gordon a pedophile?

phish bassist mike gordon has been arrested for disappearing with a 9 year-old girl he met backstage at a dead show at jones beach. maybe he and pete townshend should start a band together... (c/o cdc)

bark at the spoon

The nurse led me back to my room. My head already spinning, I lay back on the bed as she hooked me up to an EKG machine and headphones playing ambient music that calmed me down from a sudden attack of panic: Why was I doing this again? Ibogaine is no pleasure trip. It not only causes violent nausea and vomiting, but many of the "visions" it induces amount to a painful parading of one's deepest faults and moral failings. I had a loud, unpleasant buzzing in my ears — probably the Bwiti pound on drums throughout the ceremony to overwhelm this noise. With my eyes closed, I watched as images started to emerge like patterns out of TV static. I saw a black man in a 1940s-looking suit. He was holding the hand of a 5-year-old girl and leading her up some stairs. I understood that the girl in the vision was me, and the man represented the spirit of iboga. He was going to show me around his castle.

daniel pinchbeck on ibogaine in this week's l.a. weekly.

the ever widening eye

war on drugs a collossal failure? sure. but why should that stop johnny "big brother" ashcroft from asking for even broader powers to fight so-called "narco-terror?" especially now with his pro-patriot act blitz...

Smut Peddler Who Cares

You know, I have no god-damned clue what is going on with the elections in California right now, but when I heard that Larry Flynt was running, my interest piqued. Now, he might be gross or what have you, but once you've sat in his gold-plated lap there's no going back. The man is downright sexy for what he's done for (his) first amendment rights, though *hem* he might be shady. I think his playful blackmail and frank challenges are absolutely fascinating! Really, now, if it's all about going for big names and glitz, vote Flynt, and fuck Aghnold.

power deregulation to blame for blackouts

bush i & ii's deregulation of the power industry enabled both the california and north eastern energy crises. so says respected journalist greg palast, as well as the ny times.

i know you libertarians just love to be right, and hell, at times, i find myself agreeing with many of your posits, but can't you just face facts when they're staring you in the face? when you let the corporations run wild, this is the type of shit you have to contend with... it was the invisible hand of the free market that shut off the power thursday.

click here for more on democracy & regulation.

also, "Bush opposed and the congressional GOP voted down legislation to provide $350 million worth of loans to modernize the nation's power grid because of known weaknesses in reliability and capacity." looks like it's time for a new poster. and here it is:


download pdf

who turned out the lights?

boy, that was a frickin' trip. just got my power back. phew. unreal. i had to walk under the hot sun from my job @ 76th & amsterdam all the way to williamsburg—in flip flops!

it was an interesting walk— times sq. was stunning... thousands of people in the streets and all those damned neon lights off for once! marvelous. it was like mardi gras out there, everyone pouring out of the bars and onto the sidewalk, beer in tow. we were trooping downtown with bottles of sapporo, believe it or not, and the cops didn't say or do a damned thing.


spent the night through this afternoon laying in bed with the windows open trying not to move and induce any sweat, listening attentively to the radio and reading intermitently. ugh the fuckin' blisters tho. can't really walk. some friends went out blackspotting last night... i thought about it but my feet hurt too damned much. anywho, nice to have the power back.

now let me launch into my paranoid-conspiracy theory... because it just wouldn't be a happy day without that: i suspect that that dastardly evil bastard g.w. bush made this happen so that he could pour billions of federal dollars into renovating our power infrastructure in order to put more reliance on local production which will somehow conveniently be oil-based. then he and his friends who control all the world's oil will raise prices and make trillions of dollars even long after they are ushered from the white house.

why would i think that? read this and this. anyhow, it's just a paranoid rant. all my suspicions about 9/11 came true. i could be right about this one too.

unga! fire, hot!

"The decades of neglect, the decades of failed policy have meant that our forest fires are incredibly hot, incredibly catastrophic."

fire, hot? noooo, you don't say!

what, deforestation makes for healty forests? nooo, really? cuz i kinda thought growing trees made for a healthy forest NOT CHOPPING THEM DOWN YOU BLEEMIN' LYIN' FOOKIN' ASSCLOWN.

ah yes, granting timber companies access to our national forests will solve our forest fire problem... not increasing aid to first responders... oh heaven forbid, no. we don't want stronger fire departments. we want less oxygen-replenishing life! it'll strengthen the economy! ARGH!

and speaking of assclowns, john ashcroft somehow found time during his ever important wars on terror and "some drugs," to go after pornographers whose fetishes are a little too dark and grody for the mainstream. rob black and lizzie borden of extreme associates (nsfw) have been indicted under federal obscenity charges and could face up to 50 years in jail and $5 million in fines for making hardcore amateur videos depicting scenes of rape and other nasty shizzlacka that i, of course, don't condone, but on the other hand couldn't give two shits about if it's just acting on behalf of consensual adults. one of the films in question: ass clowns 3: the director's cut! ahh, synchronicty.

Radicalism and Jewish Values

"We are now the conservatives. They are the radicals. This is a major revolution in meaning with which we need to contend."

The Great Double Standard

A 62 year-old retired schoolteacher is being fined $10,000 for acting as a human shield in Iraq. According to US officials, "her travel to Iraq violated US sanctions that prohibited American citizens from engaging in 'virtually all direct or indirect commercial, financial or trade transactions with Iraq.'" (c/o fonadi)

The woman, Faith Fippinger, of Sarasota, FL, refuses to pay the fine, stating that she "will not contribute money to the United States government to continue the buildup of its arsenal of weapons." She has thus been threatened with having her pension and social security funds garnished by the federal government.

In the meantime, Halliburton, under the directorship of Vice President Dick Cheney, conducted over $73,000,000 worth of business with Iraq (as confirmed by UN investigators), while under sanctions. Rather than being penalized for "trading with the enemy," however, Halliburton has been given unprecedented stewardship over the reconstruction of Iraq, to the point where a recent Presidential Executive Order waives the company of all accountability for any acts it may committ in violation of both US and international law.

Fuck the goose. It's all about the gander.

Lethal Jew Weapon

Crazy man Mel Gibson recently shot a movie supposedly for the American public (even though it's in latin w/ subtitles). It seems that the Anti-Defamation League is giving him unnecessary press. Are we violating his freedom of expression, or rightly justified to coerce him into changing the flick?

you are being lied to

"One generally doesn't think of psychological warfare as something waged against the home population; but this is perhaps the best way to appreciate the U.S. experience during the past few months. The objective of such a campaign was to stifle dissent, garner unquestioning support, and rally people around a common symbol. Americans, and to a lesser extent Europeans, have been subjected to a propaganda barrage in an effort to neutralize opposition to the war, and this fits directly into a psy-ops framework." — a quote from a british intelligence expert in a new article by mediachannel.org's danny shechter

punk's not dead, it just smells funny... actually—it stinks

Sid and GG are spinning (c/o fonadi — moved from the shoutbox)

bush roundup

bush lies, so does rummy & so do spies, new york wheezes & big oil sighs, cash rises to skies with burgers and fries, soldiers die, napalm fries, blind "the enemy's" starry eyes, and finally steve martin halves my sides

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to...

"[W]hat the Dean complaints really are about is a battle more intrinsic to presidential politics than ideological struggles: outsiders versus insiders, insurrectionists versus the establishment. [... W]hen Al From, the longtime chief of the centrist Democratic Leadership Conference, blasts the front-running insurgent, it's less about ideology than power. After Bill Clinton and Al Gore, Mr. From fancies himself a kingmaker, and Dr. Dean hasn't supped sufficiently at his table." —The Wall St. Journal

more good news

"Judicial oversight of the city's police department was broadened Thursday by a federal judge who said the force showed 'some need of discipline' after subjecting anti-war protesters to questions including whether they hated President Bush." (c/o nafta)

ew, ew, ew

"A teenager accused of running down a jogger in hopes of having sex with her corpse drafted a macabre list of 'resolutions' a year earlier that included a desire to "taste human flesh" and shoot someone, according to court documents."

mazal tov to grubness & co.!

received at 2:30 this morning...

It is with joy and gratitude that I announce the birth of our baby daughter, Devorah Leah!


Stats: 7.7 Lbs, 20 Inches, 48+hrs of hard labor (labour for you britts), 1 tired but very happy/relieved/mother, 1 cute healthy squirmy lil baby

—Shimon

finally some good news

"I believe deeply in the values of an open society. For the past 15 years I have focused my energies on fighting for these values abroad. Now I am doing it in the United States. The fate of the world depends on the United States and President Bush is leading us in the wrong direction."

George Soros explaning his $10 million contribution to a 75 million dollar warchest (peacechest?) to defeat George W. Bush in 2004. (c/o CalPundit)

coup detat

not only did colin powell never say he was going to resign next term, but he's accused the neocon cabal of leaking the story in order to discredit him for his "dovish" disposition.

Horse Clones

Italian scientists have created the first known horse clone. Aren't you excited to know that they can clone Kentucky Derby winners in hopes of breaking natural records with scientific mutants? Cloned humans (if they don't exist already) are definitely just around the corner.

Evolutionary Art

addt'l pieces one | two | three | audio

Christofr Nhyn
PEACH

Opening Sat. August 16

Buddha came down
splashed in the sea
crawled out a fish
and climbed up a tree

Archetypus Café
266 River Road, Edgewater, NJ
201.941.0609 • archetypus.com

Reign of the May King

Dubbed "Poet Laureate of the Beat Generation," Allen Ginsberg is arguably one of the most influential poets in literary history, continuing in the traditon of such greats as Blake, Whitman and Williams. A writer, photographer, filmmaker, political activist, first generation JuBu, and champion for queer rights (and incidentally a card carrying member of NAMBLA), Ginsberg's vast cultural contributions are present throughout the entire latter-half of the 20th century, and have left an indellible mark on New York City's artistic community, as well as that of the world abroad's.

Thus it is only natural that adulations of his work should ring out across the city this summer, manifest in two events inspired by his two most prominent works.

August 20th-26th is Ginzy week, as HOWL!: The 1st Annual Festival of East Village Arts conquers Tompkin's Square. Taking it's name, of course, from Ginsberg's seminal poem "Howl," the event will be comprised of the 1st Annual East Village Film Festival, the Charlie Parker Jazz Festival, the 19th Annual Wigstock Festival (a drag queen convention), and last, but certainly not least, the 1st Annual Allen Ginsberg Poetry Festival.

The festival is the work of the Federation of East Village Artists (FEVA), a group which "honors the historic role of the East Village as the cradle of the city's, if not the world's, counterculture." The Federation is interested in forming a union to help struggling artists stay afloat with healthcare and financial support, as well as a "Smithsonian of the Counterculture"—a museum which would house the treasures of New York City's subversive past.

Volunteers are still needed for the event, so help out if you can. It's gonna be an amazing week! (Too bad my Bjork tix are for the night the poetry fest kicks off! Grrr!)

Pushing the vibe to the brink of Autumn, Israel's national theatre company Habima, will be in residency at Symphony Space, September 18-21, performing "Kaddish L'Naomi," a drama based on Ginsberg's classic poem "Kaddish." The play, which will be performed in Hebrew with English supertitles, depicts "Ginsberg's boyhood and his mother's decline into madness." (What the hell is a supertitle?)

The event marks Habima's first visit to America in over 40 years, and will feature leading Israeli actress Gila Almagor. On September 16, Almagor will appear with director Hanon Snir at the JCC in Manhattan (where I work) for a behind-the-scenes discussion of the piece. Tickets go on sale later this week.

Regardless of your feelings towards the war-embroiled nation, don't make Israeli artists suffer for the acts of their government: If you're a Ginsberg fan, you should definitely check it out.

Contest — The first person to accurately explain the May King reference without using a search engine will win a Jakeneck trucker hat. Jakeneck crew excluded. That means you Shred Lexicon! Post responses to comments.

your flesh is a relic of your vessel

A device that produces electricity from blood could be used to turn people into "human batteries".

Researchers in Japan are developing a method of drawing power from blood glucose, mimicking the way the body generates energy from food.

anyone else here seen the animatrix? if not, i highly recommend downloading and watching the second rennaisance parts one and two.

hippie capitalism

who says capitalism and communism are incompatible?

respect the design

44 flash guru joe skilloze of illgraphs studios created a lovely website a couple of years back for photographer peter hurley, which featured an outstanding flash-based portfolio viewer with a user-friendly admin console. the site was beautiful, truly one-of-a-kind, and something that you might call skilloze's signature piece. anytime i had a client of my own looking for flash work, i'd use hurley's site to sell 'em skilloze's skillz.

enter rich troost. troost is the operator of talentnetworks.com. an associate of peter hurley's, troost approached skilloze to recreate hurley's portfolio viewer for his own site, but wasn't willing to pony up the finances to do so. being an original product created specifically for hurley, skilloze refused to compromise his artistic integrity and resell the same code to troost at a discounted price: he would create a new, custom product for troost, or nothing at all. troost declined.

instead, he hired someone else to completely jack skilloze's design and code, and is now reselling the service to other photographers at $795 a pop.

talk about a shady scumbag... i'm not a big fan of intellectual property laws, but this is one instance when i feel that someone's livelihood is actually being threatened by the theft of their art. rich troost should be ashamed of himself, and should be held accountable for his actions. his clients and potential clients should be aware: this is the underhanded manner in which talentnetworks conducts business, and they should not condone such behavior by acquiring services from troost.

in the meantime, skilloze is contemplating legal recourse.

got three minutes?

"Have you got three minutes. Because that's all you need to learn how to defeat the Republican Right. Just read through this handy guide and you'll have everything you need to successfully debunk right-wing propaganda."

one small step for man...

doucheneck john poindexter, the man who helped bring you the iran-contra, total information awareness, and the terrorist futures market, is stepping down.

good mothafrickin' riddance. next we just have to get them to eradicate, not just him, but his position all together.

[update] "[T]he brainchild of a half-dozen academics from various colleges, including [MIT, Yale & NYU] ... The American Action Market will offer various Washington 'futures' that can be bet upon and traded," such as "which country will the White House threaten next, who will be the next foreign leader to move off the CIA payroll and onto the White House's 'most wanted' list, and which corporation with close ties to the White House will be the next cloaked in scandal."