unga! fire, hot!

"The decades of neglect, the decades of failed policy have meant that our forest fires are incredibly hot, incredibly catastrophic."

fire, hot? noooo, you don't say!

what, deforestation makes for healty forests? nooo, really? cuz i kinda thought growing trees made for a healthy forest NOT CHOPPING THEM DOWN YOU BLEEMIN' LYIN' FOOKIN' ASSCLOWN.

ah yes, granting timber companies access to our national forests will solve our forest fire problem... not increasing aid to first responders... oh heaven forbid, no. we don't want stronger fire departments. we want less oxygen-replenishing life! it'll strengthen the economy! ARGH!

and speaking of assclowns, john ashcroft somehow found time during his ever important wars on terror and "some drugs," to go after pornographers whose fetishes are a little too dark and grody for the mainstream. rob black and lizzie borden of extreme associates (nsfw) have been indicted under federal obscenity charges and could face up to 50 years in jail and $5 million in fines for making hardcore amateur videos depicting scenes of rape and other nasty shizzlacka that i, of course, don't condone, but on the other hand couldn't give two shits about if it's just acting on behalf of consensual adults. one of the films in question: ass clowns 3: the director's cut! ahh, synchronicty.