a sad day for autonomy

nyc's favorite anarchist collective, abc no rio, has just issued the following, heart-wrenching notice:

Due to the rapidly changing neighborhood and new political climate the following changes will be instituted immediately.

• The Saturday Afternoon Hardcore Punk All-Ages Matinee will be replaced by the new All-Ages Bingo Game and Prayer Circle.
• Sunday Poetry Readings will will be replaced by the Sunday Afternoon Wine & Cheese Brunch (competitvely priced at $25/plate).
• The Zine Library will soon be renovated as a joint Starbucks and Barnes & Noble reading room/cafe.
• To avoid the potential misunderstanding and association with terrorism, Food Not Bombs will change it's name to Food Not Islam, or Food Not Bad Things.
• The Darkroom, Printshop and Computer Center have been annexed by Kinkos. Fees will be raised to appropriate levels.
• All artwork and leaflets will be sent to the Office of Homeland Security for review and comment before being displayed.
• Musicians performing at COMA, No Rio's series of experimental and improvisational music, will now limit themselves to performing covers of Kenny G. songs.
• Politically controversial meetings that take place in the building will be video-taped for security purposes (these tapes will be shared at any time with local law-enforcement personnel).
• The ABC No Rio slogan "Culture of Opposition Since 1980" will now be "Culture of Accomodation Since 2003."
• And there will be no smoking or drinking anywhere in the building at any time for any reason.

Thanks for your cooperation while we go through these growing pains.

haha, april fools.