Redskins Lose, Kerry Wins

You can put it in the books folks, or call your bookie if you are so inclined, because regardless of all the polls declaring a dead heat between the two candidates, the National Football League has provided indisputable proof that the next President of the United States will be Senator John Kerry.

How could this be so, you might ask? Well, let's take a look at history. Going back to 1936, a span of 16 presidential elections, the outcome of the last home game played before the election by the NFL inhabitants of our nation's capitol, The Washington Redskins, has decided the presidency. When the Redskins win their last home game prior to the election, the incumbent has won every time. But when the Redskins lose their last home game, the challenger has won every time.

So yesterday, when Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers waltzed into Fedex Field and beat the Redskins 28-14, the winner of tomorrow's election was decided.

Congratulations, President Kerry.